The need to be important, or possibly the need to feel needed.

With technology at our fingertips, all the time, with mobile phones that are equivalent to miniature computers, and therefore constant contact, non-stop communication with the world, does it add to or take away from our sense of importance, of self worth?

So many of us feel the need or maybe the desire to respond instantly to emails, text messages, facebook comments, instant messages such as BBM and What’s App as well as tweets.

Do we feel important when people take an interest in us in this way? Do we not value ourselves, or feel a sense of self worth without being constantly in touch, constantly available, constantly in contact with so many other people?

Within my life coaching work I find that a lot of people do feel that they “need” to be responding instantly, that they “must” reply to emails and messages even when they are in “switch off” mode, relaxing with family, socialising with friends, or away on holiday.

They want to share information, news, thoughts on social media sites such as facebook in order to feel important, valued, to know that others are interested, waiting for feedback and comments.

My work as a life coach is about you feeling worthy within yourself without these external elements to make you feel OK. Feeling truly worthy comes from within. When you feel good, worthy, valued and confident you can enjoy these other forms of contact and yet not “need” them. That’s a much better, healthier place to be.

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable

Self-Confidence Building
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Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

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1. Drink water at the start of each day, and before every meal; there’s no fixed amount.  If you can manage two or even three glasses that will help you feel full before you start eating so it will naturally cause you to eat less.  Even one glass is good, do what feels right for you.
2. When drinking alcohol, you can restrict your calories and the amount you’re having by drinking a glass of water in between the alcoholic drinks; and if you can, always pour yourself or request a small glass of wine or a small bottle of beer.  That way if you do have more, you are having more without having quite as much as you would have done if every glass/bottle was large.
3. Have nibbles, but take a small amount in the palm of your hand and move away from the bowl of nuts, crisps, chocolates, etc.  Enjoy the sensation of feeling them in your hand and seeing them, this will appeal to your kinaesthetic (touchy, feely) and visual senses, which will help you feel more satisfied about having the nibbles.  Also, eat them slowly, one at a time, rather than a palm-full at a time.
4. At the Christmas lunch itself, do have a bit of everything you like; the key is only take a small amount of everything, and if you do want seconds, again have a small amount of only those things you really and truly want, rather than everything!  Remember the good old tips around eating well, eating consciously: eat slowly, really chew and taste your food, put your cutlery down between each mouthful so you’re taking more time to work through your food; it’ll last longer on your plate, you’ll feel more satisfied and you’ll enjoy it more.
5. Christmas pudding: have it, and again, have a smaller portion than usual.  And if you want a second helping, have some and again, simply keep your portion small, and eat consciously – instead of scoffing it down, savour every mouthful, put your spoon down in between each mouthful and eat slowly.
6. And finally, coffee and chocolate after dinner – have some chocolate if there’s room in your tummy and that’s what you really want.  Just have one small bit, so that you get to enjoy the flavour and the taste without over-loading yourself.

If you follow these 6 simple tips for how to manage Christmas lunch, you are highly likely to eat a lot less than you usually would have done and if you can eat 50% less than you’ve done in the past then well done you!!

In this way you still get to enjoy all the foods you love and want to eat, and still feel good about yourself, and less heavy, less tired and less full than you would’ve done if you’d eaten the “old” way. I know this works for many of my clients, I hope it works for you.

Do share with us below your thoughts, ideas, any other tips and suggestions on how to manage Christmas lunch and what works best for you. Wishing you all a wonderful time over the holidays and a Happy New Year for 2012!!

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable

Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want. Life Coach London

First of all it’s very important not to lose your sense of you and who you are. Negative emotions are incredibly infectious so it’s imperative that you don’t get dragged down with other people. Remain the happy, outgoing and positive person that you are at all times.

Try not to judge negative people too much. They are who they are because of a number of reasons and perhaps some very valid reasons that you will never understand. So try to be patient and sympathetic to those who you socialise, live or work with.

People very often mimic or copy others that they spend time with and as mentioned earlier it’s important that you don’t mimic any of the negative behaviour you are attempting to deal with. However if you remain positive throughout any situation or challenge you may find other people begin to and mimic you. If a generally negative person begins to adopt your positive persona and behaviour then this can only be a good thing.

One effective method that you can put into practice today is the technique of reminiscing. For example when a negative person is stuck in a very downgrading situation, try reminiscing or relating your current situation to a more happy and positive time in the past. This can sometimes give people an instant positive twist and solution to a current problem. For example imagine a colleague who is seriously worried about an upcoming interview with their boss. They may begin to feel self doubt and feel very negative about who they are and how they will come over in their interview, but if you could reminisce about when they succeeded in a past interview, gave a compelling presentation or produced an excellent result for their employer you could quite possibly twist their attitude into a positive outlook.

This is perhaps one of the most effective techniques I have come across and it’s one that you can instantly use with a friend, relative or a colleague. Give it a try and see just how effective it is.

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See Natalie’s video on – How to Deal With Negative People

My first tip is to simply avoid any kind of power struggle as you will never win. As I’m sure you are aware an argument, heated debate or conflict of interests can lead to a complete locking of horns where you are left feeling frustrated and at a loss over and over again. If an argument can’t be avoided or other discussion begins to get a little heated, always try to remain calm especially when you speak and demonstrate this with a relaxed and polite tone of voice. Also try to see the argument from their point of view and let them know that you understand their opinion, this can really help soothe matters and end any aggressive moments quickly.

Always try to be the best communicator that you can be when talking with someone. Ask them how they would solve a problem or how they would improve a situation. By doing this you are allowing them to voice their opinions without them having to shout you down first, it’s similar to you giving someone space when they need it. Dance with them don’t fight them!

When it comes to negative or even hurtful comments it’s important that you continue to remain calm, consistent and respond only with positive comments yourself. For every negative comment an aggressive person makes respond with 2 positive comments.

Sometimes passive aggressive people can respond with more intensity than needed, even to a simple suggestion or constructive advice. To avoid this problem try not to bring in your own judgements or evaluations. Instead talk about the impact a situation is having on other people and the impact it’s having on you. This way you’re not accusing anyone of any wrong doing but merely outlining what’s happening and the effects that are occurring.

A great tip to deal with such people either at home or at work is to give tasks that are straightforward and not over complicated. These can be tasks that you know they are good at and tasks you know they will succeed at, allowing them to feel successful and positive as much as possible. Doing this will allow all people involved to avoid as much confrontation and negativity as possible.

Natalie Dee
NLP, Confidence Coaching, Life Coaching London

Life Coach London

Too many of us, too often, forget about what we want in our life and how to stay focused on our goals, ambitions and desires and we live our lives according to what or how (or so we think) others want for us.

Whether we have many years to live in this life time or whether ours is only a fleeting visit, be clear about what you want and set yourself a goal to go out there and get it.

Live a full and fulfilling life, follow your dreams, and be the person you want to be.  Those who matter to you will love you for it and the benefits will be multiple – for you, those close to you and those who come into contact with you.

Live in such a way that at any point in time you can look back and say “This is what I’ve done, this is what I’m doing and this is where I’m going, and I love every part of my journey.”

We grow, learn, develop and enjoy our lives most when we are true to ourselves, to our hearts desires, to our dreams.

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable

Most cancer patients understand what lies ahead, especially when faced with a terminal diagnosis like mesothelioma or pancreatic cancer. They know to expect medical tests and scans, surgeries, and aggressive treatments like radiation and chemotherapy.

But while they are focusing on the physical aspects of their cancer, they often dismiss their emotional wellbeing. And learning to live as well as they can, for as long as they can, requires help. Services such as life coaching and mind-body medicine are becoming more common as doctors and patients recognize the need for an improved quality of life.

I myself had to witness the quick decline of my grandfather after he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He had been struggling with my grandmother’s concurrent uterine cancer diagnosis, and his own devastating news was just too much to handle. He became distant and detached, depressed, and lost his zest for life. I have no doubt that his mental and emotional state played into the quick deterioration of his health. My grandmother passed away on June, 26^th 2007, and he passed away later that night—partially from cancer, partially from a broken heart and losing his will to live.

I have no doubt that if we had been able to help him address his mental well-being, it may have prolonged his life, or at least improved the quality of it.

Life Coaching For Cancer Support

While many people see the benefits of life coaching in business and career development, wellness coaching is not as common. But the practice is growing. Life coaching for cancer patients addresses a number of issues experienced by cancer patients, including anxiety, stress, depression, and guilt.

Those with late-stage terminal illnesses, can benefit from life coaching that addresses their emotional problems. Patients with a poor mesothelioma prognosis experience a range of emotions that are hard to express. Anger, guilt, and fear are just a few of the many emotions that can overwhelm these patients. Life coaching can help them determine the best way to live out their lives.

Life coaching also has physical benefits for cancer patients, especially those with short life expectancies. By releasing the fear, anger, dread, and guilt, cancer patients may be able to stop the negative physical effects that can affect the quality of their lives, or even shorten their lives.

Other Benefits Of Life Coaching

Life coaching has a number of benefits, and they generally integrate the physical, emotional, and mental areas of life. Wellness coaching for cancer patients helps them focus on where they are in their cancer experience, where they want to be, and how they can get there. Coaching gives them structure, and encourages them to do more than they think they can do by themselves.

Life coaching gives cancer patients confidence, support, encouragement, and motivation. It gives them a sense of control, as they invest in themselves. Coaching benefits them for the entire length of their lives, no matter the cancer prognosis. And it greatly enhances the quality of their lives.

by Emily Walsh

Emily Walsh is a blogger, cancer advocate and Outreach Director for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance.  Emily is passionate about helping those suffering from cancer find alternative and holistic therapies that may help treat the emotional and mental effects of the disease as well as the physical.

My 5K run is tomorrow, Sunday 2nd October; it’ll be the first time I’ve put myself under a stress of this type.

The closest, in a way, to this kind of pressure, of being with hundreds of other people, doing the same thing, going in the same direction, and wanting to do well, was a few years ago, when I rode a motorbike, and I joined those huge rides where we were either going to protest about parking charges for motorbikes in London, or going to handout Xmas gifts to children in hospitals all over London – so many of us riding together, wanting to keep up with everyone and keep upright on my bike and avoid any accidents!!

Is it that we don’t want to make a fool of ourselves, don’t want to draw attention or do we want to be as good as everyone else, to succeed, to be the same?

Humans love that sense of belonging, being equal.

So, hopefully, tomorrow, I’ll be equal to those who manage to run the whole way, without stopping, it’s only about 40 minutes, and I know I can do it, because I’ve now done it twice before in my practice runs.

My chosen charity for this run is Cancer Research UK – if you want to read my story and see how much I’ve raised, click here

I’ll let you know how it went, keep an eye on my blog after tomorrow…

My previous posts on Natalie Dee, Life Coach 5K Challenge are here – my 5K Challenge and My 2011 Challenge

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable

Self-Confidence Building
in 7 Steps
Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

Life Coach London

For me it’s about being able to complete the 5K without walking and within a good time.

I’ve been practising, at the most twice a week, which isn’t very much.  And sometimes I’ve struggled to run even 3K!

When I did manage to get to 4.5K a few weeks ago I was so excited, I thought “that’s it, I can do this!”  But the next time I went out running, I couldn’t even get to 3.5K!!

What makes it possible one day and so challenging the next?  On that day, I couldn’t get my brain in gear and it felt as if my body just didn’t want to do it; and there seemed to be nothing I could do about it.

I decided to let that day go and see how I felt the next time.

Very fortunately, I did manage to surprise myself on my next run and managed to do just over 5K – I was so pleased with myself, so relieved that I’d managed to achieve it once in my practice run!!

That was over a week ago now, and I’ve not run at all this week, and with only 8 days to go to the actual race day, I’m hoping that my practice run this weekend proves to be successful, motivating and inspiring!!

Watch this space and I’ll let you know how I’m coming along…

Read my first blog about my 5K challenge here – My Own Challenge for 2011

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable

Self-Confidence Building
in 7 Steps
Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

Life Coach London

I often wonder what came first, my desire to constantly strive and achieve more, and therefore personal development was naturally a part of how I was, or my desire to develop myself personally and therefore I became a life coach and applied life coaching principles in my own life?

The reason I question myself is that when I look back on my life, I realise that I’ve “practised what I preach”, in other words, I’ve naturally done so much of what I apply in my work as a life coach with my clients.

From year to year, I’ve set myself new goals, new challenges and this year, I’m very excited to be doing something I would never have that I would do… I started running, just a teeny little bit, to help me with the other activities I’ve been doing this year.

I’ve always said “I’m not a runner” because I’m not; I’ve never been very sporty, avoided sports at school as much as possible, and as an adult, kept to exercise classes that were reasonably undemanding.

So, when I started to run, a teeny bit as I said before, it never crossed my mind that I would ever be in a formal organised run!

Yet, the more I ran, the more I felt inspired to keep on going and run even a bit more, and one beautiful Sunday, just a few months ago, after I watched my partner run in a 10K race in central London, I felt very excited about the idea of running with lots of other people and combined with the pride in his achievement, and it gave me the appetite to do a race too!!

With the support of my running partner and a running coach, I have signed up for a 5K run which is coming up in just over a week’s time!!

Read more over the next 9 days….

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable

Self-Confidence Building
in 7 Steps
Do you want to learn how to have the self-confidence to lead a more fulfilling life? Be sure to read the tell-all guide Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps to rocket your self-confidence and self-esteem to achieve all that you want.

Life Coach London

Life is a balance, it is not all of one thing or another; if there is positive then there is negative too, if there are up moments then there are down moments too.

Just like a magnet has a north and south end through which there is a magnetic force, when our two ends are in balance, we are most stable, and in our greatest strength.

Therefore in life we need to recognise and accept that all thoughts are relevant, both positive and negative; for balance to exist we will sometimes think positive thoughts and sometimes negative ones.  Because we are balanced beings, naturally we will be drawn to balance in our thoughts, actions and behaviours.

As a life coach I show my clients that this balance is natural, and by understanding that every situation has it’s direct opposite, my clients can manage the differing states they experience in their lives with greater ease.  This takes away the fear and pressure of “having to always think positive” which is totally unrealistic!

Read my other life coaching blogs here…

Making Life Changes, read Karen’s story and the steps you can take for change.

Female? 40-something? Read this client’s compelling story: Being Vulnerable