Bullied

Bullying is a problem that many children face in their school years, yet the feelings from those early years are often carried into adulthood and still affects them today.

Those who are bullied often feel hurt after the incident. They find it difficult to understand why they are being bullied. The pressure of being bullied makes them afraid of attending school or playing with their own friends. Bullying is unpleasant for not only the children being bullied, also for other people in that place.

Such incidents are disturbing because they interfere with the environment of the school or college in general. Repeated incidents of bullying culminate into violence and unfavourable circumstances.

Why do people bully others?

In their growing years, children begin to develop their own opinions. But they are not mature enough to present their opinions in socially acceptable ways. Young children are aggressive and tend to revolt more often. When this aggressive and rebellious nature begins to take over a person’s personality, the habit of bullying is developed.

• Bullying is a form of seeking attention, gaining popularity or feeling important.
• If others are bullied easily, it makes the bully feel strong and powerful.
• Sometimes the family background plays a role. Children from dysfunctional families may consider such behavior normal.
• Bullies may follow the actions of other bullies.
• Many bullies may have been bullied themselves at some time in the past.
• While some bullies are well aware of their actions, others may not understand how harmful their behavior is or yet others may be insensitive to the feelings of people around them.

Why are young people bullied?

Incidents of bulling are common especially in schools. Bullies look for soft targets so that they can satisfy their urge to tease and feel powerful. Persons are often bullied because they may be different in size or appearance.  Bullies tend to pick on other children who are:

• different in skin color
• meek and small in appearance
• belonging to  a different culture
• peculiar in the way they talk
• different or funny in the way they carry themselves
• easily frightened or of a submissive nature

Are bullied people harmed in more ways than one?

There are different opinions in this regard. According to some people, getting bullied must be taken as a part of growing up. Bullied persons must learn to deal with it rather than be upset. But this is not true always. Bullying tends to become a repeated affair, if not stopped well in time. This is when the bullied person is harmed the most.

Children who are bullied frequently may not want to go to school or to play with friends in the neighbourhood. They may begin to remain isolated. They may develop feelings of insecurity. Bullied persons are always frightened and are never happy. They begin to perceive themselves as inferior people who don’t have a right to be happy or successful. Strong negative feelings begin to occupy their thoughts and this leads to loss of self confidence and motivation.

Children who are bullied may have a short term effect or a long term trauma that may carry with them all their lives affecting their personality. They may lose their ability to trust people and are often oversensitive in interaction with others.

 What should a person do if bullied?

It’s best to ignore the actions of bullies. When they don’t get the response they want to see, bullies may give up the idea of continuing. But if the actions become more aggressive or frequent, it would be better to inform an authority at school.

Children who are bullied must talk to someone they trust at home or at school or with any other adult. Adults will be helpful in putting an end to the series of unpleasant incidents. If talking openly about the incidents may be awkward, writing a letter to a trusted elder would be a good idea.

Getting bullied is an extremely unpleasant event and it’s difficult for the bullied children to deal with the situation. But one thing must never be forgotten. The real problem lies with the bully, not with the child being bullied. It is the bully who nurtures false illusions of power and superiority. If a child has a different skin color or a different way of walking or talking, that does not make that person an object of ridicule. The bullies are unable to cope with things they don’t accept or understand. It is they who need to change, not the person they target.

All the best,
Natalie Dee
London Life Coach & Business Coach, London UK
Certified High Performance Coach & Master NLP Practitioner

020 3411 4888

Natalie Dee, London Life Coach works in the area of lifestyle management as a London life coach, using life coaching with confidence coaching and NLP both in London and throughout the UK, applying techniques such as NLP,EFT and Hypnotherapy to improve levels of self-confidence as well as relationships, personal health, finance and career. Life coaching London, UK and worldwide available.