What is Confidence?

‘You can have anything you want, providing you first let go of wanting it’ -Lester Levenson

What is confidence? It is the feeling of certainity, belief or trust that you can rely on someone or something.

It is belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. It is vital to have confidence in our skills and abilities. It is one of the easy attributes to develop and maintain if you follow the time tested answers to the question “what is confidence”

You can know what confidence is and how to build it when you are able to indentify its need.

Signs of lack of confidence

People who lack confidence communicate less with their colleagues, friends and family. They often show signs of frustration and aggression especially after making a mistake.

They tend to blame external factors such as friends, family and colleagues or the system instead of accepting personal accountability of a poor performance. They become passive and overly safe; taking very few risks. Their body language is negative with drooping shoulders and lowered head position. They do not really know what is confidence and how it can help them to be happy.

Setting achievable targets

The targets you set for yourself should not be very difficult and in line with your current skills and capability. This way you will have satisfaction of achievement which will help build confidence.

The targets you set should also not be so low that they do not inspire confidence in yourself. Remember he who dares wins.

Trying to live in a comfort zone for long periods without challenges can also result in lack of confidence creeping on you. You become reactive and not proactive if you hardly ever step outside of the comfort zone. In time you forget what is confidence and live a life without a purpose.

Getting support

There is no reason to hesitate seeking guidance and support from people you trust especially from those who can help you realize what is confidence and how to regain it. There will family members and friends who will be positive and gladly support you in meeting your goals and help you get your self confidence back. There will also be others who will ridicule you and damage your self confidence. Shun such negative people and do not share your feelings with them. They are generally insecure themselves and do not know what is confidence.

Recall past, positive experiences

What is confidence if it not remembering past achiements which helps build confidence as positive memories bring back the associated feelings of confidence and success? It reinforces our self-confidence and helps us to prepare for the next challenge. It is important not to delve on the negative feelings of the past and tell yourself that it is over and you are off to a new start with renewed vigour.

Concentrate on your strengths

It is good idea to concentrate on your strengths and build upon them. Success comes from your strengths.

What is confidence if it does not come to you from within? Concentration on positive things about yourself increases confidence.

Learn from mistakes

Each mistake you make brings an opportunity to understand the root cause of the mistake and correct yourself so that you are more confident about getting it right the next time. Failures have within them the seeds of success.

Instead of blaming yourself, focusing on your failures and letting your confidence down, you may analyse the situation and find a way to solve the problems.

After his seven hundredth unsuccessful attempt to invent an electric light Thomas Edison, said: ‘I have not failed seven hundred times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those seven hundred ways will not work. When I have eliminated all the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.’

Develop sufficient skills

What is confidence if it is not the feeling of knowing the consequences of our action even when we enter into unkown areas? This feeling comes with developing skills and capabilities and undergoing series of experiences to be certain of it. With better skills we judge the risks better and take corrective action accordingly.

We may also understand that confidence will be related to our skills and capacities and be realistic about our goals. Also we may have more confidence in particular areas where we have skills and experience so it is ok to have less confidence in non relevant areas. We have also to maintain confidence by strengthening it, building upon it and not letting ourselves drift in our comfort zone.

All the best,
Natalie Dee
London Life Coach & Business Coach, London UK
Certified High Performance Coach & Master NLP Practitioner

020 3411 4888

Natalie Dee, London Life Coach works in the area of lifestyle management as a London life coach, using life coaching with confidence coaching and NLP both in London and throughout the UK, applying techniques such as NLP,EFT and Hypnotherapy to improve levels of self-confidence as well as relationships, personal health, finance and career. Life coaching London, UK and worldwide available.