About Bullying

Bullying is an aggressive behavior that is intentional, repetitive and harmful in nature. It includes physical, verbal or emotional attacks on soft targets.

The worst thing about bullying is that it creates a persistent imbalance of power.  This is disturbing for others around and tends to damage the environment of the school.

Whatever your age, bullying is an unpleasant and very difficult situation to deal with entirely on your own.

What is typical about bullying?

When the feeling of being powerful takes over a person or groups of persons, they begin to pick soft targets and feel good about bullying others on the campus. Bullies use different forms of bullying. Some tend to attack the target directly while others choose to attack indirectly.

About bullying directly-

Some bullies directly attack the target with physical attacks such as

• Hitting, punching or slapping
• Pushing
• Kicking
• Tripping someone over
• Banging body parts against the locker
• Pinching
• Stealing or damaging personal belongings

Attacking verbally, such as

• calling names
• making insulting comments
• mocking someone about dressing or looks
• teasing
• making racist remarks

About bullying indirectly-

Some bullies enjoy the reactions by playing games behind the victims back. This is also called social or relational bullying, such as

• turning your best friend against you
• damaging reputation by spreading rumors
• putting a person in an embarrassing situation
• writing nasty comments on walls or other places where they can be read
• isolating a person from the group
• excluding a person from important activities
• making insulting gestures

What is different about bullying among boys and girls?

Both boys and girls use direct and indirect forms of bullying. However, there are some differences in what boys and girls enjoy about bullying.

Frequency:

Boys tend to bully more than girls. The urge to feel powerful is seen more in boys as compared to girls. Girls don’t think about bullying so often. However, there are differing opinions on this issue. Involvement of girls in incidents about bullying has become more common recently compared to the past.

Preferred type of bullying:

Boys are more aggressive in nature and get more obsessed about bullying people to stay in power or vent out their feelings. Boys tend to resort to direct physical or verbal attacks. Girls are more likely to attack indirectly. They cause emotional and psychological pain to the victim, which has a long term impact. Girls generally attack with words and cause social damage or damage relationships. It’s important to remember that these are not standard behavior and the tendency to bully or the preferences about bullying may differ from one individual another.

How they attack the victim:

Most incidents about bullying usually involve groups. Bullies normally attack victims in groups. Girls normally bully when they are in a group. They may be well behaved in the presence of elders but may have mean intentions. Both boys and girls bully with taunts and jeering remarks to damage a person’s reputation in society or among friends.

Why are victims afraid to share information about bullying incidents?

There are various reasons for this. Victims may not share unpleasant experiences with parents because they don’t want to worry them. They may feel embarrassed or ashamed and know others who are victims but have not shared with elders. Some don’t want to disclose their weakness, they fear being labeled as incapable.

What is harmful about bullying?

Bullies pick on soft targets to satisfy their desire for power or revenge or sometimes for no real reason at all. Some people are of the opinion that there is nothing to be upset about bullying. Incidents of bullying should be taken as a part of school life and students must learn to cope with such events. However, such incidents can have drastic consequences if the frequency increases. Students who are bullied frequently may:

• stop attending school out of fear
• stop playing with friends in the neighbourhood
• lose confidence in themselves
• develop negative emotions
• consider themselves inferior and incapable of earning respect and success
• hurt themselves by cutting wrists or trying to commit suicide

Increasing incidents of teenagers committing suicide because they cannot deal with bullying on campus or in other places indicate the need for strong steps to stop such events. Bullying becomes common if bullies know that nothing is being done on the part of school or state authorities to control the situation. This also tempts other students to participate in such events. Measures to control such occurrences and to eliminate dire situations for victims and their families should be taken. Awareness about bullying incidents is much needed for the safety of students at school.

All the best,
Natalie Dee
London Life Coach & Business Coach, London UK
Certified High Performance Coach & Master NLP Practitioner

020 3411 4888

Natalie Dee, London Life Coach works in the area of lifestyle management as a London life coach, using life coaching with confidence coaching and NLP both in London and throughout the UK, applying techniques such as NLP,EFT and Hypnotherapy to improve levels of self-confidence as well as relationships, personal health, finance and career. Life coaching London, UK and worldwide available.