How to Build Self Esteem

The picture that we have of ourselves, how we look, who we are, what we think of ourselves is our self esteem. Each one of us is concerned with how to build self esteem. Based on the experiences we have in our lives and based on the interactions we have with others, we create a mental image of ourselves. Self esteem is all about how important we are, how much people value us, how others think of us. It’s the feeling of being loved and wanted. In this article an attempt is made to explore how to build self esteem effectively.

How does self esteem develop?

You may like to know how self esteem develops before you get to know how to build your self esteem.

Self esteem develops as we interact with people around us. As children we depend on and follow instructions of our parents and teachers. The things that we hear about ourselves filter into our thoughts about ourselves and this is when self esteem begins to develop.

Parents are protective about their children and rarely leave them alone. So in your childhood, you are living in a much protected environment and there’s little scope for self analysis.

However the things that you hear about yourself make your personality and you begin to learn how to build self esteem. If the environment around you is positive, you feel that way. If not, you try to make adjustments without really understanding what’s happening because you lack the maturity. It is during you teen years that your self esteem begins to develop more strongly and the question –how to build your self esteem becomes important to you.

These are also the years when people begin to have problems with their self esteem as you are not well equipped to handle complexities of life and how to build your self esteem.

Why do people have problems with their self esteem?

The image that we create of ourselves depends greatly upon the things that we hear about ourselves form those people with whom we constantly interact. In our teens, we interact most with our parents, teachers and friends.

The words and opinions of our parents and teachers have a strong and long lasting influence and form the seed of the quest of how to build self esteem. The problems arise when such situations occur:

• If the opinions of people around us are full of criticism, we begin to think of ourselves as inferior.
• There are too many expectations from people whose acceptance is important for us. It’s not possible to stand up to unreasonable expectations that are beyond our capacity and when we cannot match the expectations, we begin to blame ourselves and value ourselves less.
• Sometimes we expect too much from ourselves.. We may want to see ourselves in positions that just may not match our personality. This leads to low self esteem that we have built of our own accord and we focus on negativity rather than oon how to build self esteem. Here external opinions have not played any role.
• We all have an inner voice that we listen to. Too many negative thoughts make your inner voice your worst critic. When you listen to that negative inner voice, you decide your incapacity to perform even before taking up a task.

The search of how to build self esteem?

The best part about self esteem is that it is not fixed and there many ways of how to build your self esteem. As you grow, you meet different people; you move around different places and have a different view point of the things that may have frightened you as a child. It is always possible to build on self esteem and change the way you think of your own self.

Some tips on how to build self esteem are given below:

• Shift your focus from negative thoughts about yourself to the positive aspects of your personality.
• Recognize the potential and skills you have and make reasonable self expectations. Value yourself for the qualities that you have rather than criticizing yourself for not being like someone you admire.
• Work so that you accomplish. Perfection should not be the only aim of all your actions. Congratulate yourself for all that you have achieved and appreciate yourself.
• Love yourself so that others will love for the way you are. Honesty with yourself is the best quality of your character and personality.It is one of the answers to how to build self esteem.
• Avoid negative thoughts about yourself and drive that inner critic away.
• Be happy. Enjoy each day.
• Take each negative experience as a learning opportunity and make the most of it.

People with high self esteem always feel good. Learn how to build self esteem and see your confidence blossom with each accomplishment you make. You will no longer dwell in self pity and negativity around you.

You’ll be ready to face any challenge that comes your way by recognizing your ability, valuing yourself for what you are and loving yourself.

All the best,
Natalie Dee
London Life Coach & Business Coach, London UK
Certified High Performance Coach & Master NLP Practitioner

020 3411 4888

Natalie Dee, London Life Coach works in the area of lifestyle management as a London life coach, using life coaching with confidence coaching and NLP both in London and throughout the UK, applying techniques such as NLP,EFT and Hypnotherapy to improve levels of self-confidence as well as relationships, personal health, finance and career. Life coaching London, UK and worldwide available.